How are you, really?

“Life can be magnificent and overwhelming—that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live.”
—Albert Camus

How are you feeling today?

“I’m tattered; that’s why I am here.” 

I recently overheard this conversation between two of my yoga students. 

It struck me on many levels. First, I was so enlivened to hear someone tell the truth about how they really felt. 
How many times have you said: I’m fine—when you are really a wreck inside. I know I have been there. We often don’t want to bring up how we truly feel.

Are we talking to someone who isn’t the right person to open up to? Does it take too much time to go into the details? Are we unwilling to admit that we are struggling? Are we ashamed that we are not doing better? 

When I ask someone how they are doing, I really want to know. I wasn’t always this way. No, this came as a result of many years of personal development and diving into myself to learn who I was. As a result, I really do want to know. Really listening and caring takes practice, if you are not used to it.

How are you? 

When you ask someone, pay attention to their body language (if you are in person). The body will give away many more clues than words alone.You see, when we ask someone, and really want to know, we get out of our own tangled thoughts. We can elevate our own mood and state of mind, just by being there for someone else. 

When you really ask, you are saying: I see you. I hear you. I care about you. There is power in being present for another person. We were never meant to carry so many burdens alone. 

The second thing that struck me from this overheard conversation was how this student knew that he wasn’t doing great and he knew that coming to yoga would help. 

What are we doing when we are tattered? Do you know how to get yourself out of a hard state of mind or how to bring healing into your physical body? 

How long do we stay in a negative state (mental or physical) until we decide to do something about it? 

There are so many ways that you can change your state of being. Moving your body, drinking more water, eating more healthy foods, moving away from negative people, being more inspired by a podcast or book… the list goes on. 

When you feel tattered, change what you are doing.

Yesterday, at church, someone asked me how I was doing. I said, “Tattered, that it why I am here.” The response on the kind persons face was a bit startled. But then he responded with understanding.

You see, many of us are tattered. (And it is ok to admit it.) Life is challenging on so many levels. It is ok to open up to trusted people about your challenges. You often don’t even need to go into every detail (unless you choose). It is about feeling less alone.

We were never meant to carry it all. (I did for far too long and it nearly broke me.) 

It is ok to be tattered. It is also recommended that you do something about it as soon as possible. Go to yoga, meditate, pray, go for a walk, read a good book, rest when needed, write about it, seek counseling, take care of your body, experience something beautiful, have an amazing conversation with a friend.

Find what works for you. 

You can be tattered and still move forward. 
Never forget how much you matter.Your life matters. 

Sending you a lot of love on this day and always,

P.S. Reply back to this message and tell me how you are doing, really