Wobbling As Part of Living

Hunter, my seven-year-old son was recently learning to ride his bike sans training wheels. 

At first, his frustration nearly swallowed him whole. We talked about how learning something new can be really difficult, but giving up prevents us from ever learning amazing new things. 

We decided to try a trick that a friend’s husband recommended. Ride the bike like a balance bike. Keep your feet on the ground, while learning to balance. 

This took the skill of bike riding, which is largely balance, and broke it down into its simplest step. Simple doesn’t mean easy. 

Hunter rode all around that day, feet on the ground, learning to balance. His frustration gave way to an acceptance that this wouldn’t be easy. I promised him that it it would be worth it. 

He kept going and didn’t ride on two wheels that day. Was he a failure? Absolutely not. In fact, he asked to try again soon. I was so proud of him for asking to ride again. He can be super hard on himself. (I wonder where he got that from…Insert sarcasm here…I am like this too and learning to have more grace with myself.) 

Are you hard on yourself? Do you expect to learn something or be good at something without some “failure?” I add quotes to this word because failure is a necessary part of living. You see, if you are failing, it means that you are trying. 

When I teach a balance pose in my yoga class, I tell the students that if they are wobbling all over the place, they are doing it right! Wobbling means that you are trying and that you are working to learn something or improve on something. 

I am proud of you for all of the times that you wobbled and did it anyway. 

What is it in your life that you want to try but haven’t because you are afraid to fail? What if you took one small step forward? What if you were wobbly and messy but you did it anyway? 

What would you tell Hunter, or another child, who wanted to ride a two-wheeled bike but was wobbling on his first day? “Give up kid, you’ll never get it!” (Of course not.) 

A few days later, Hunter got on his bike, wobbled, but then started riding on two wheels. It was amazing! He did it! He still wobbles, but he is gaining confidence every day.

You can find your confidence too. Taking a step forward and being willing to be wobbly is how. Who said you had to be perfect? Who said that you couldn’t “fail?” Who told you that you weren’t good enough as you are? 

Maybe it is time to give yourself permission to wobble, to fail, and maybe even to fall. 

You’ll get up again. Your scraps will heal. You can do hard things (as author Glennon Doyle says.) 

Reply and let me know how you plan to be brave. 

Never forget how much you matter and how much your life matters. You were created for a purpose and you deserve to give yourself a break. 

Sending you a boatload of love today and always,

Rachel 

P.S. Do you know that I didn’t believe that I mattered for about 32 years? Did you know that I didn’t know what love was or how to love? Did you know that I was afraid to fail and rarely asked for help? Did you know that I am a recovering perfectionist? I write you these things because I want you to know that I have been there and I believe in a better way than all of that struggling and forcing yourself to be perfect—that perfection is an illusion and learning to wobble more, to fail more, and to love more is a beautiful way to live. 

If you want me to help you, it would be my honor. Life coaching is helping people get to a goal, move forward, learn a new skill, and/or see life with new eyes. That is my honor—to teach people a new way to get to where they want to go, find more joy and happiness, and live a brand new and brave way, wobbling and rising and improving every day. 

If you’re interested in learning more about coaching and what it entails, reply to this message and let me know. I would love to give you a free Discovery Session so you can learn more. You deserve to get out of your own way and live an amazing life. It is possible. I can show you how.