“Stress happens when the mind resists what is.”

-Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

(The following contains an exercise from a typical coaching session. You can try this on your own. Read the introduction and then grab a journal or piece of paper and let's go. You got this. I know you are digging a bit deeper these days. That's how we grow, by always moving forward. It's worth it. Every time something hard has been in your life, you've grown. I am proud of you for continuing to show up for yourself.)

For most of us, stress is a normal part of our lives. It might become more prominent during one time or another, but it is always there; this ever present humming that rarely ceases.

There are circumstances in which stress can be beneficial. That slight feeling of uneasiness can alert us to times of trouble or impending disaster. Or the mild anxiety one might feel when a deadline is approaching can cause us to spring into action.

But, what happens when we fail to address the source of the stress or we allow the stress (or perceived problem) to take over and we ruminate.

The body WILL react. There is only so much that our bodies can take as we refuse to slow down and address the hard things in life. We believe it's impossible to change our schedules to a different pace and think that "someday" things will become easier.

Ok, I am digressing. Let's get back to our topic...

There are theories that explain that the body reacts the same, despite whether or not the source of the stress is real or perceived. (This means that the body can react to a real physical stressor (like a disease or a knife wound) in the same way that it might react to an imagined threat… something you believe might happen.)

Here is what the body might do when it experiences stress (remember that this doesn’t just mean “I’m stressed out” it also means an actual stressor (life event, disease, being chased, etc.).

Pupils dilate, increased sweating, increased blood pressure and heart rate, increased breathing rate, decreased gastrointestinal movement, increased mental alertness, increased muscle tension, and increased sugar in the blood.

(You know those tight shoulders you feel at the end of a stressful day...)

As you can see, there is a physical reaction to stress in our bodies. And though this list above is an acute reaction to stress, there is long-term damage as well.

Here are some of the health issues that are aggravated (made worse or even caused) by stress:

Hyperthyroidism, diabetes, cancer, skin diseases, asthma, coronary artery disease, high blood pressure, GI disturbances, obesity, rheumatoid arthritis, low back pain, migraines, accidents, immune system is depressed (and you get sick more often), and the list goes on and on!

In the several years while working with clients as a health and life coach I have had clients who told me about serious eye problems, GI symptoms like IBS and upset stomach, headaches and migraines, and elevated blood sugars. All as a result of stress.

After reading up to this point, do you believe that managing stress is important?

Does addressing stress move to the top of your priority list?

(By the way, if you don’t believe that it is possible to manage your stress, you won’t be able to. You must believe that it is possible, then change can take place.)

Now, what can you do about it?

In terms of coping skills, here are three choices:

1) alter the stressor;

2) adapt to the stressor;

3) or avoid the stressor.

Go back and reread those choices.

👉 First, you must identify the cause of the stress. Take out a paper and pen and write down what it is that's causing you stress. Decide if it is real or imagined (remember, the mind LOVES to play tricks on us and convince us that doom is impending!)

👉 Is your stress a fear? Is that fear: False Evidence Appearing Real? Your perception of the stressor is a major determiner in how successful you will be in managing it.

Remember this question: “What is the truth of the situation?”

👉 Grab your journal and start writing. Sometimes just the act of writing and bringing awareness around what is hard will take away some of the power that stressful thing is holding.

Clients have been resistant to writing. When they decide to give it a try, miracles happen.

👉 Next, decide what you must do to address the stressful issue in your life.

Write down what you can do. (Here is where you find your power.)

It's possible that you can’t do anything about it. In this case, please remember two things: self-care and limiting your exposure to the stressful thing/person.

Find things you can do to help take care of yourself during the stressful time or event. For example: eating healthy, exercising, simple breathing exercises, prayer, finding the present moment, knitting… whatever it takes to give your mind and body a break from the harmful effects of stress.

In terms of exposure, this is where boundaries are crucial. Let's talk more about those soon.

👉 Above all, take time in gratitude. When things seems to threaten to take over your very soul, list those things that you are grateful for. I really believe that this is the key, or at least the beginning, to making real and lasting positive changes in your life.

If you can change the stressful thing, do that. Life is way too short to be stressed, if we don’t have to be.

👉 Are there things you can let go of? Do you really have to attend allllll of those events…. Do alllllll the things……sometimes a nice afternoon staying home feels simply divine. (And kids love these times too, guaranteed.)

Lastly, take it from me, when I ignore my stress, I get sick. When I forgo my spiritual health and practices, I begin to fall apart, minute by minute, day by day. We have a responsibility to be the best people that we can be so that we can do the work that we were placed here to do.

This world needs you! And, it's ok to ask for help. I did! When I finally realized that I deserved to live a better life, I reached out for help and got a coach. Things began to change for the better.

Your family needs you to be a light, a presence, and a port in the storm of life. However, you can’t be that if you don’t take care of yourself.(Check out episode 7 of the Living Inspired Podcast. Here you will find a meditation especially for stress relief.)

Today, decide what is important. Set goals for each day that remind you of what is most important.

This is your one chance to live an extraordinary life. Begin today.

Never forget how much you matter.

So Much Love,

Rachel

If you want help learning to manage your stress, reduce your overwhelm, and find more peace in your life, I can help. Let's have an informal chat and see if you are a fit for my newest program. In 8 weeks, you could have a totally transformed way of life and your health can be exceedingly better. Let's chat. Reply, "I'm ready to chat." You have absolutely nothing to lose and only a vibrant life to gain, being more present with those you love.

Remember to check out episode 7 of the Living Inspired Podcast. Here you will find a meditation especially for stress relief.