“You don’t experience life. You experience the life you focus on.” - Tony Robbins

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Tony Robbins said "you don’t experience life, you experience the life you focus on." When I really started to sit with that, I realized how much of what we feel, especially when we feel stuck, isn’t just about what’s happening. It’s about what we’re thinking about what’s happening. And if you’ve been wondering why you feel stuck even when you’re doing everything right, I want to walk through this with you in a way that feels simple and grounded, not overwhelming or complicated, just something you can actually use.

When You’re Doing Everything Right But Still Feel Stuck

If you’ve been listening to the podcast lately, we’ve been in some really powerful conversations around hormones, perimenopause, relationships, and what’s happening in the body. Today, I just wanted to take a breath with you, because I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trying. You’re paying attention, you’re making changes, you’re doing the things that are supposed to help, and yet there’s still this quiet feeling underneath it all that something isn’t shifting the way you thought it would.

I see this all the time with the women I work with. They’re doing so much right, and still, they feel stuck.

How Your Thoughts Shape Your Results

Let’s break this down in a really simple way. Something happens, that’s the circumstance. It could be your energy level, a symptom, a conversation, a number on the scale, something your partner says, or something going on in your life. Then, almost instantly, you have a thought about that situation, and that thought creates a feeling in your body. That feeling drives your actions, and those actions create your results.

What’s important to understand here is that the circumstance itself is neutral, even though it rarely feels that way in the moment. The thought is where everything begins to shift.

The Real Reason You Feel Stuck

I want you to pause for a moment and think about something in your life right now that feels heavy. Maybe it’s your health, your energy, your sleep, your relationship, or even just that feeling of not quite feeling like yourself. Then gently ask yourself what you’re thinking about it, not what’s happening, but what meaning you’re giving to what’s happening.

If you’re like so many women I work with, your brain probably has a lot to say. Thoughts like why is this happening to me, something must be wrong, I’ve tried everything, nothing works. I want to say this clearly, with so much compassion, those thoughts are normal. Your brain was designed to look for what’s wrong. It’s constantly scanning for problems, for threats, for what needs attention, and that’s part of how we’ve stayed safe. If you find yourself stuck in that pattern, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It means you’re human.

The Thought Loop That Keeps You Stuck

The challenge is what happens when those thoughts go unquestioned. When a thought like nothing works keeps repeating, it doesn’t just stay in your mind. It shapes how you feel, and from there, it starts to influence everything else. You might feel defeated, frustrated, or exhausted, and from that place, your actions begin to shift. You might stop trying, or you try something without really believing it will help, or you find yourself jumping from one thing to the next, looking for the answer.

Over time, the result becomes more of the same, and not because your body can’t heal, but because the lens you’re seeing everything through is keeping you in the same place.

Shifting Your Perspective Without Forcing Positivity

I always think about this like a pair of glasses. If the lens is smudged, everything looks unclear, and after a while, you forget it’s the lens and start to believe that’s just how things are. But when you clean the lens, even slightly, everything starts to look different.

That’s what we’re doing here. We’re not forcing anything or pretending everything is fine. We’re creating a little bit of space to see things more clearly.

Instead of a thought like nothing works, what if the shift was something like: maybe there’s something I haven’t seen yet, maybe my body is trying to communicate with me, or maybe I don’t have all the answers yet, but that doesn’t mean they’re not available. There’s something about those thoughts that opens things up, even if it’s subtle, and that opening is where change begins.

Why Small Wins Change Your Brain and Body

This is something I’ve been working on a lot with my clients, and honestly, with myself too. We’ve been practicing noticing small wins, and I’ll be honest, it’s not always easy because the brain naturally wants to focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, and what needs to be fixed. So even when something goes well, we tend to move past it quickly and focus on the next problem.

But when we intentionally start to notice what’s working, even in small ways, something begins to shift. Drinking more water, pausing before reacting, getting outside for a walk, or sleeping a little better might seem small, but they matter. They tell your brain and your nervous system that something is working, and when your nervous system starts to feel safer, your body responds differently. Your choices change, your energy shifts, and your capacity expands.

This Is About More Than Your Health

This matters for your health, but it also matters for your life, because this is your one, precious life. There isn’t a redo, and I don’t say that in a heavy way. I say that as an invitation to look around, to notice what’s here, and to ask yourself how you want to experience this, not when everything is perfect, but right now, in the middle of the uncertainty and the figuring it out.

A Simple Way to Start Shifting Today

If you take one thing from this, let it be this. Take one situation that’s been bothering you and write it down. Then write down your thoughts about it, get them out of your head and onto paper, and gently ask yourself if that thought is helping you. Is it moving you forward or keeping you stuck?

If it’s keeping you stuck, see if there’s another way you could look at it. Not something forced or overly positive, just something that gives you a little more space.

If You Still Feel Off, Start Here

If you’ve been listening to this and thinking there has to be more going on in my body than I’ve been told, or my labs say I’m fine but I don’t feel fine, I created something to help you start connecting those dots. It’s called The Real Reason You Still Feel Off, and it’s a simple guide to help you begin looking at your symptoms in a different way so you can actually start moving forward.

You can grab it at RachelCartaRN.com/lastinghealth.

As you go through your day today, just notice what’s already working, even if it feels small. Those small shifts, over time, really do change everything. I’m so glad you’re here.

Lots of love,

Rachel

Rachel's Free Resources:

Mood Swings? Get the 5 minute audio to calm them now. https://rachelcartarn.com/sos

Do you want to understand more of what's changing and get a few simple tools to feel better now? Get the free guide: The Real Reason You Still Feel Off.

Ready to Talk: Book a Clarity & Relief Session here.