My dad is nearing the end of his life. I could write about so many aspects of this journey. As a hospice nurse I know what’s happening and what’s coming. In fact, just yesterday a patient's daughter (who is also a nurse) said to me that she doesn’t know what’s worse, having nursing knowledge of what is happening or not knowing …

As I said, I could write about so many aspects of this journey: from my father’s lifetime of regret to the emotional and physical struggle of watching him decline slowly …

But, for today, what is on my mind is you. And how you are doing and how you are living.

Let me explain: for the first time in our lives, my sisters and I decided to take our mom out for a pedicure and lunch. (She has never had one. And we have never done anything together as sisters and our mom… again, so much to write about with this one as well…)

Here is what happened: she arrived and was on high alert, as she often is. She could barely sit still in the massage chair and was immediately telling me the recent drama about my dad and how difficult it all is. By the way, if you are a caregiver for an elderly or disabled person, you have a road that most people can never ever understand. The physical and emotional toll that takes on a person’s mind, body, and spirit …

No only has my mom been taking care of my ailing father, but I have 2 (yes 2) siblings that were born disabled. So, she has been a caregiver nonstop for 35 years. To say that her nervous system is going wild is an understatement.

I didn’t always understand her hyper verbal and often frantic state. As a child, this was hard beyond words. She wasn’t present and didn’t connect. She was misunderstood at the highest level and her doctors medicated her so that she wasn’t depressed.

Since I have been deeply into the study of the human mind for the past 7 years, I now see all of this with new eyes and new understanding.

As my mom struggled with the massage chair I looked at her face. Eyes drawn in, cheeks taught, new worry lines appearing on her face. It was like her entire body was vibrating.

Her sympathetic nervous system was on overdrive. And has been or a very long time. And if you have been exposed to trauma at any age (and many, many of us have) you are likely experiencing something similar.

If you experience symptoms of anxiety (heart racing, thoughts racing, sweating randomly, feelings of panic) you may have a nervous system that is on high alert too. You could also feel totally disorganized all of the time. (This is a simplified list. There are many more ways to experience a nervous system that is on high alert.)

Most people think of trauma as something terrible happening. There are so many micro traumas that occur in our lives that we often just gloss over and continue forward, not dealing with them and often compartmentalizing them. Trauma comes in the little and the big.

As my mom continued to struggle to enjoy this pedicure (her first one… did I mention that!) I watched her. Rather than say “relax mom!” Because I absolutely loathe when people tell me to relax … I asked her if she wanted to listen to one of my recorded meditations.

She agreed and I set her up with my headphones. Sitting next to her, I could literally see her shoulders drop, her energy levels change, and her lines relax on her face. It was as if everything slowed down and she was able to breathe.

The result was literally something I could see with my eyes. Imagine what was going on inside of her body!

When the body is in a state of high alert for a long period of time, there is damage. The body can only take so much before a symptom emerges.

Over time these high stress levels can cause hormone imbalances and even organ damage. This is no joke.

Here is the absolutely amazing truth. The human body is resilient. Since I work in hospice now, I see the body at the end of life. The resiliency and majesty of our bodies is almost something that cannot be described with words.

One way to access our amazing resiliency and innate healing abilities is to stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system. You can think of this as the opposite of your flight or fight response system. This is the part of the body where relaxation occurs. Not just in the mind, but the actual body systems.

Try this right now: sit up tall and take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold that for 2 seconds. Then, release the breath slowly. Repeat this 5-10x. As you breathe in, say the word “inhale” inside of your mind. Do the same with the “exhale.”

After this exercise, you might notice that you feel a bit more relaxed. It is the same feeling you might have after a massage, a yoga class, or a walk in the woods.

This exercise is stimulating your parasympathetic nervous system. I truly believe with every fiber of my being that this is where profound body, mind, and spirit healing can take place.

As I watched my mom begin to relax, I felt emotion rise up in my own body. I now know I can allow that emotion to move through me.

I focused on my own breath. Inhale …. Exhale ….

You can heal. It takes steps and effort.

It takes deciding that ENOUGH is ENOUGH.

It takes finding someone to help you along the way.

It takes a willingness to learn a new way of living in this overstimulated, overstressed, and overwhelming world.

Breathe in …

Breathe out …

Breathe in …

Breathe out …

Sending so much love your way,

Rachel

P.S. I would be honored to help you on your journey to heal your body, mind, and spirit. I help people by teaching them simple life-saving techniques that can fit into any busy schedule. We aim to integrate the mind, body, and spirit, for a healthy and joyful life. It doesn’t have to be so hard. You can get your life and your health in a place that feels better. I am accepting 2 people this month and would love to see if you are a fit for this program. This month, we are focusing on health, weight loss, and reducing anxiety and stress. If this sounds like something you want to learn more about, reply to this email and we will chat. You are an example to those around you. It is time to find a new way to health and wholeness. Reply here and just let me know you want to learn more.

P.P.S. Watch one of my students talk about their experience with our program. You can change your life. Joyce found a new way.

P.P.P.S. If you know someone who is a caregiver, bring them groceries, or send them an encouraging card. They will appreciate that you SEE them.