You’re the one everyone depends on. The woman who holds it all together.

But inside? You’re exhausted, emotional, and quietly wondering how much longer you can keep this up.

You wake up tired, go to bed tired, and spend the day juggling meals, appointments, work, and family needs... all while your own emotions feel like they’re spinning out of control.

It’s not that you’re failing. It’s that perimenopause, and midlife in general, makes doing it all impossible. Pushing harder only fuels the chaos that’s already happening inside your body.

Today, let’s break it down: why you can’t keep going the way you always have, and more importantly, what to do instead.

I’ll show you simple, sustainable shifts that help you stay reliable without losing yourself, so you can breathe again and finally feel like you.

The Moment I Realized I Couldn’t Keep Pushing

When we moved to Pennsylvania, I took on more responsibilities than ever.

At first, it looked like strength. I was capable, efficient, and organized. But over time, I realized I was triggering an old part of me, the part that learned in childhood to push through and hold everything together.

That belief, the story that it was my job to keep it all together, eventually became the doorway to the migraines I shared about in another episode.

One day, when my son was about seven, I said my usual, “I’m fine.”

He looked at me and said, “Mom, I know you’re not fine.”

That moment stopped me cold.

Because he was right. I was spinning inside, trying to keep up with meals, grocery lists, appointments, work, finances, family obligations, and caring for aging parents and disabled siblings, all while my emotions felt like a roller coaster I never signed up for.

It was only when I started unpacking those old stories, through therapy, reflection, and grace, that I saw how deeply I’d tied my worth to holding it all together.

The Myth of “Doing It All”

Society tells women our worth comes from how much we can handle, how well we manage the home, perform at work, or appear put-together.

We compare our lives to picture-perfect relationships on social media and silently ask ourselves, “Why can’t I keep up?”

We’ve internalized the message that handling it all equals being good enough.

So when we start unraveling, we feel guilt and shame, especially when our emotions spill over.

Here’s the truth I want you to hear: Pushing harder doesn’t make you stronger.

It makes you sicker.

Your body becomes drained. Mood swings intensify. Resentment builds.

And eventually, burnout becomes inevitable.

Doing it all isn’t a badge of honor; it’s a recipe for collapse.

Why Midlife Feels So Different

If you’re in your late 30s, 40s, or 50s, your body is going through massive hormonal changes.

Estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol (your main stress hormone) are constantly shifting, and those changes ripple through every system of your body.

Your sleep, digestion, mood, and energy all feel different.

When you snap at your kids or cry over spilled coffee, it’s not because you’re weak or unstable. It’s because your body is signaling that it’s out of balance.

Emotional chaos isn’t a character flaw; it’s your body asking for support.

About 87% of women in perimenopause also deal with another chronic condition: thyroid issues, autoimmune diseases, migraines, and more. So when you pile all of that onto emotional and hormonal shifts, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re falling apart.

You’re not falling apart. You’re human. And you can be supported.

Three Gentle Shifts to Reclaim Calm and Energy

When you realize you truly can’t do it all, here are three shifts that can help you start healing from the inside out.

1. Simplify

Instead of managing everything perfectly, ask: What really matters most?

Try this exercise:

Do a “brain dump.” Write down every single thing on your mind: your tasks, responsibilities, worries. Then group them into categories like “family,” “work,” or “home.”

Now ask:

- What’s truly essential?

- What can I delegate?

- What can I let go of completely?

This practice, what I call Prioritize with Purpose, helps you focus your energy where it matters most, so you can be present with your family, your work, and yourself.

2. Stabilize Before You Overhaul

Before you jump into another diet or intense workout plan, start with your nervous system.

Just a few minutes of stillness each day, deep breathing, gentle movement, or a short walk, creates stability in your body and hormones. Without that foundation, any health change you try will feel impossible to sustain.

Ask yourself:

Do I feel grounded and calm most days, or am I constantly in fight-or-flight mode?

If it’s the latter, start here. Stability first. Then strategy.

3. Seek Support

This one can be hard. Many of us equate strength with self-reliance.

But healing happens in connection.

For me, getting support meant:

- Asking my husband to handle dishes after dinner.

- Seeing a counselor to process emotional stress.

- Hiring a business coach to simplify my workload.

- Working with my own functional nutrition counselor for my migraines.

Support doesn’t make you weak: it makes you whole and helps you get to where you want to go.

The Three S’s: Simplify, Stabilize, Support

These three small but powerful shifts create a ripple effect across your entire life. You don’t have to start over. You just need to start where it matters most.

Take a deep breath. Tune in.

Ask yourself: What does my body need right now?

The answer, whether it’s to simplify, stabilize, or seek support, will be clear.

Imagine This…

You wake up with energy instead of dread.

You still show up for your family, but without the chaos.

Setbacks don’t derail you anymore.

Your loved ones get to experience the real you: calm, steady, and even joyful again.

This isn’t wishful thinking.

It’s what happens when you stop trying to do it all and start listening to what your body is telling you.

You’re Not Alone

If emotional stability feels especially urgent right now, I’m creating a brand-new resource to help you calm that inner chaos, so you can respond with resilience instead of guilt. Stay tuned for more details soon.

In the meantime, take a moment.

Place your hand on your heart.

Remind yourself: I am doing my best.

And if this message resonates, I have a free resource for you: “The Real Reason You Still Feel Off: What Your Symptoms Are Really Telling You (and How to Start Feeling Like You Again).”

It’s not another plan to follow. It’s a gentle, five-minute guide to help you understand your body’s signals and try three simple shifts today.

👉 Download it here.

You don’t have to do it all.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Your body was designed to heal. Let’s take that next step together.

Lots of love,

Rachel

About Rachel Carta, RN

As a Functional Nutrition Counselor & Life Coach, I help women who are tired of feeling off, have low energy, digestive issues, brain fog, and/or mood swings. You can wake up with energy. You can feel good again in your body. You can reconnect to the vibrant, grounded you. You don't have to do this alone. Book a free consultation here.